I have always talked about how important it is to look at the bright side of things, to always look for the silver linings, the half filled glass- the stars in the sky. Today I am writing about something else; A universal truth of which I am a profound  advocate .It is, that ‘Breakups Suck!’

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? But breakups do kill you! (They kill your spirit!) When I say break up I don’t mean when you have a spat with your munchkin because he didn’t text you goodnight last night. NO! This is the real deal, when it is over. FINISH, FINITO, THE END!!! One of the countless awful things about breakup is that breakups are not just when you break up with your boyfriend. Even if that is how the dictionary defines it. I think break -up and the excruciating pain that follows it demands a broader and more inclusive definition. So here is mine, It is when your love affair ends or  a breakup   with a boy you really liked but never really got a chance to date, it can be with your ex -boyfriend when you get to know that he is seeing someone. The worst of all of these is when you break up with your best friend. There are little things in life worse than losing your best friend. Naturally if you just broke up with your boyfriend who was also your best friend then that IS worse. And I offer my sincere and most heartfelt condolences. So a break up is almost anything that breaks your heart and makes you feel alone on this planet with a population of 8 billion (and counting!)

The worst of all is that no matter how much you mentally prepare yourself for it,You never see it coming. Even if you are the one who broke it off. You never realize the degree of attachment you feel towards a person until it really is over and suddenly you feel a flood of emotions through your body and for most of the time these emotions overwhelm you and disturb everything in your life.

Unless you are one of those lucky ones who after a break up realize that you had no attachment towards your partner and your life seems not affected. If that is the case..Good for you and right now I envy you!

But honestly I have only seen this in movies. In real life Break ups suck! At least the first one week where suddenly you realize that there is no one to call when something amazing happens at work. There is nobody to listen to how horrible you feel when you wake up from a nightmare. You miss them when you read something hilarious on the internet but cannot share it with them or when suddenly you find yourself waiting for their message like you used to.

The important thing to know is that it is alright and yes it is supposed to suck so much initially. Everything after that is just about adjusting to the change in your life. It is different for different people. It might take you weeks, months maybe years but that is totally alright as long as you are trying to make the best of everything but most importantly as long as you are trying.

Trying to build back your life  is exhausting at times, yes. It does seem pointless and at times you give up and that’s okay as  long as the accepting  defeat part is short term but the trying your best to get your life back part is long term

Something we forget at times like this is that it will be alright. It feels like the end of the world right now. But someday somewhere somehow that weight you have been carrying will just not be there anymore. Just like that.

In hindsight we always realize that most of the times when things don’t go our way they usually have a way of working out for the best! I mean I was ‘crushed’(note the pun!) when the boy I had a crush on in eighth grade told me he doesn’t feel the  same way. I thought my life was over. But now I thank god that he didn’t.  I have achieved so many better things in life now  I wouldn’t have if I was dating him.(Last I heard he was caught trying to smuggle watches! )

I know this now and I want everyone else to know it too. It is going to be fine. Maybe not like what you had planned, maybe not like before but it will be just how it was always supposed to be!

The optimist

 

 

 

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