I have this fantasy where I would like to just sit on a cloud and take a journey through time. I would like to Watch from above my life as it has happened in the last 21 years.

I want to see being the center of gravity of the whole house. I want to see the extended family center their lives around the schedule of a two year old

I would munch popcorn as I watch my five year old struggled to write the letter ‘M’ and sob for hours.

I wish to see myself playing on the jungle jim unaware of fear.

I would try not to hide my face as I watch over the day I was punished for the first time and experienced humiliation that I can still feel sometimes.

I would swirl past the moments where I believed my first crush not reciprocating my feelings was the most tragic thing that could happen.

I would see myself wanting a cellphone more than anything else. I would try not to  yell at my 12 year old self and tell her that Life without a cellphone is a blessing you won’t be able to afford in next 7 years. 

I will think about The Avengers and The Holiday I watch myself convinced that Home Alone 2 is the best movie I will ever see.

I would spend some time Watching my first kiss from a distance. I think my nerves would feel as jittery as they did then.

I think I would laugh as I see my first love promising he would me never let me go.

I would look at myself crying and disappearing into my tears when he did.I would feel comfortable then knowing that it wasn’t that god hated me as what I believed then. It was just an inevitable rite of passage.
I would see myself worry about my future and Then smile as it all works out in the end.
I would do all this If I could I would sit on a cloud and go on a journey through time….

Advertisements