Looking back at the most defining decade of my life yet.

2010 feels both like yesterday and a million years ago at the same time. 2010 was the year the Apple Ipad and Justin Bieber were trending. (Yeah it’s been 10 years since we’re trying to get ‘Baby’ out of our heads)

There is no denying that things have changed, sadly not that many for the better. I feel like I have lived a whole lifetime in the last ten years. It was probably the most defining decade of my life.(I am trying not to be sad about the fact that it’s all probably downhill from here.)

I was a child pretending to know better than she did back in 2010. Going into 2020 I am an adult and honestly I know even less about life than I did back then. But I am still pretending to hold it together, mostly. 

2010 seems to be a different era, anxious was what you felt before tests, marriage was what older people did, failure meant not scoring 90 in an exam, depression was what Sylvia Plath had, having a boyfriend was the coolest you can be, nothing was impossible.

2010 felt like the start of something new and something big. I am trying my best to be as excited for 2020. (It was much easier when you had experienced nothing about life)

But before I get my hopes up for 2020, here is looking back at the decade and things that it changed.

Then:
I was a 15-year-old who always felt like a misfit, in between classes, after school never really connected with anyone.

I felt extra- like the buttons you get with an expensive dress they’re never supposed to be on the dress but forgotten in a ziplock in an old cupboard.

Now:
I know that there are some people in this world who will always make space for me in their lives. More importantly I know that I don’t have to fit in anywhere.

Humans weren’t designed to fit in anyone else’s world but create one of their own.

(Side note: Dear 15 year olds struggling to fit-in with their friends, it gets better.)

Then:
When I started this decade, I was practising for the 2010 commonwealth games- closing ceremony. I felt like they made a mistake and I really shouldn’t be here dancing in front of a million people. 

Now:
Almost 10 years later, I am practising for a dance performance at a close friend’s wedding. I know this is exactly where I belong, but I swear I am more afraid of screwing up this one.

Then: 
I was about to finish Harry Potter. I knew there would never be a story, a world that I would love as much as this one.
Now:
I just finished a book about a dystopian future and a socialist government controlling the thoughts of its citizens.
I still prefer Harry Potter. 

Then:
We were afraid that the world would end in 2012.

Now:
We are disappointed that it didn’t.  😦

Then:
I got my first smartphone and the best thing about it was that I could send pictures to my friends.
Now:
They say that you can survive without water for 7 days, I know  I can’t survive without my phone for 7 minutes.

 

Then:
I was afraid of failure.
Now:
I am afraid of mediocrity.

Then:
I wouldn’t celebrate my birthday to study for tests.
Now:
I don’t celebrate my birthday to avoid human interaction. 

Then:
I had 8GB memory on my phone and pictures of only very close friends made it.
Now:
I have a zillion GB and about 7 pictures of that potato chip that looks like a Mickey mouse.
 

Then:
I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.
Now:
I have no idea what I want to with my life. 

Then:
I was so afraid of public speaking.
Now:
I love the spotlight. (Shoutout to Delhi University) 

 

Then:
I was never bothered about how I look or how much I weigh. I used to look in the mirror and smile at what I saw.
Now:
I still like what I see in the mirror – my social media profiles however bother me. 

My instagram profile seems to be a more important reflection of myself than the one I see in the mirror.

Then:
I used to never speak my mind, afraid of what people would think.
Now:
I say what’s on my mind after turning on the close friends setting on Instagram, afraid of what people would say.

Basically, the last decade changed a lot – Some things for the better some not so much.

Now whether or not we’re ready- 2020 is here.
I am entering the next decade- a little optimistic, a little heartbroken, a little nervous, and very anxious.

2020-2030 you better be good to us.